Sunday, June 9, 2013

An Excellent Wife, A Godly Woman

I decided to do a summer bible study with several other women on Proverbs chapter 31, how to be an excellent wife. I started this study for a few reasons, I wanted to stay connected through the summer with some women that I love to learn from, I want to know how to be a Proverbs 31 wife if I ever have the opportunity to be one, and I want to see if there is anything for a single woman to learn from this chapter, even if she never marries. The first few days were fine for me. It was just about King Lemuel and what it takes to be a great king. Then came day 4, Proverbs 31:10.

"An excellent wife, who can find? 
For her worth is far above jewels"

Okay, I agree with this one wholeheartedly. An excellent wife (or noble in the NIV translation) is a rare jewel in any circle that you may run in, especially in our society today. I was doing good until I read these verses:

"An excellent wife is the crown of her husband" (Proverbs 12:4)
"He who finds a wife finds a good thing
And obtains favor from the LORD." (Proverbs 18:22)

I got to thinking. Sometimes that is a dangerous thing for me to do. I got to thinking maybe I'm not good enough to be a wife or mother. I got to thinking that maybe I'm not worthy of being a gift. Like I said, sometimes things that get me thinking are dangerous. I know better. I really do. So I did something about it. I prayed. I even wrote my prayer out so that when I feel like this again I can go back to it and read my thoughts, my hearts longing, and remember that I am from God. I am right where He wants and needs me to be. I want to share that prayer since I know that I'm not the only person who struggles with being singly satisfied.

Oh Lord, God of creation, I was created, knit together for a reason. I'm here and alive, though I should not have lived past a year. My heart aches. Studying Proverbs 31 shows me I have a long way to go to be a good woman, a Godly woman worthy of being called a gift from God. So many women strive to be an excellent wife. I know my season right now is one of singleness but even then, learning how to be an excellent wife can teach me how to be a Godly woman. Even if I am never blessed with a husband, I am still a gift from the Lord. I am a gift to those around me- my family and my friends. My greatest dream has always been to be a wife and a mother: two things that are sacred and holy. I know that even if my dreams do not come to fruition, as long as my gaze stays on You and You alone, I am right where I need to be. Surrendering my greatest dreams may be the hardest emotional journey that I alone can make, but being in Your will is the greatest destination. I know that You have plans in motions specifically for me. I may never know on this side of Heaven what my journey will do, for me or for others. Like Isaiah, when he was asked who will go, my response is "Here am I Lord". I'm here to be used for Your glory and honor. I'm here to do Your will. I'm willing to go on the journey even if I can only see the next step. My fears, my worries, my anxieties- many as they are, I give to You. Here am I Lord, send me where You will.